


At Eye Level

by Ruunkur



Series: Brittle, Broken, Reforged [3]
Category: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: Manipulation, Self Loathing, This was a lot more fun to write than it really should have been., Vamdemon is a prick, eye gore, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 20:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12895842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunkur/pseuds/Ruunkur
Summary: One shot extending from the Brittle, Broken, Reforged universe.





	At Eye Level

**Author's Note:**

> What happened to Ken's eye?
> 
> This takes place two months before Taichi and co rescue Ken and break Vamdemon's hold on the digital world. Ken has been imprisoned about 22 months at this point.
> 
> *coughs*
> 
> I had this written before I actually posted the epilogue cause the idea wouldn't stop nagging me.
> 
> I swear I will try to write happy at some point.
> 
> Edit: This was supposed to be a set of one shots, but I don't have it in me and I lost the creative flow to continue anything in this universe. I apologize for that. Maybe I will pick it up again, if it comes back to me! I do all of my fanfic writing off the cuff. More often then not, I will write huge chunks of it at a time, and then completely drop it when I realize I have no steam for that AU anymore. These are mainly unplanned fanfics, thus there may be plot holes that I don't come back and edit out, as I would when working on my own work. This is something I realize, and thus there will always be unanswered questions in the fanfic AUs I write. I apologize for this, and hope that you do enjoy overall.

It's dark when you wake. It's cold and you move, ever so slowly. You don't know how long you have been in the darkness, but you feel it clinging to you. You shiver, curling in on yourself. You want to fight the rising panic that you feel when you hear the door open, but you don't.

There’s nothing for you beyond this darkness.

There’s no one that would take you back, after everything that had happened to you. That much you had learned from what he had told you.

The thought of him makes you shiver and you pull yourself tighter, your knees pressing to your chest. It hurts, to move so much, but you have long since stopped caring about getting wounds and cuts infected. There was little you could do to stop from things getting infected. He would make sure that you didn’t die, of course.

That would mean his fun would be over and he couldn’t be bored. Not when he was at his castle, with nothing better to do.

As if your thoughts summoned him, you hear the door of the cell creak open.

"Hello Ken," the voice whispers and you flinch back as you feel a hand touch your hair, jerking your head up so that you had to look into the eyes of Vamdemon. There's a little light pouring in through the door and you want to bask in it as much as you can it it, but you can't move with his hand in your hair. You can’t recall the last time he let you in the light, for longer than a few moments.

Even when he takes you for walks, it’s dark. And you almost prefer the darkness to the light. You deserve the dark anyway.

His hand begins to tighten and you want to pull away but you don't make a noise. Protesting would only lead to more pain

"Are you still not talking?" Vamdemon asks, his free hand resting on your cheek and you steel yourself, not allowing yourself to move back. It would be worse if you did move back from him.

You had learned that within the first few weeks being back in the digital world.

_The nightmares haunt you as you toss and turn in your borrowed bed at Yamato and Taichi's apartment. It's been a week since you and the other digidestined had hauled Daisuke's broken body out of the shifting maze. You hadn't wanted to leave him behind. You had hoped it was a joke._

_He had been himself, in those last few seconds, before it had been taken away from you by death._

_Though you’re uncertain, because even with Vamdemon gone, there had been a hint of darkness in those eyes. That small hint scared you, but he had been him. He had tried to apologize, that had to count for something, right?_

_You held onto that thought as you struggle to sleep._

_You're trapped in the dark place, even when you wake. There's a digimon calling you, beckoning you, and you feel pain in the back of your neck. You hadn't been able to face your family for the past week. You had, briefly, talked to your mother. You told her you weren't feeling well. That you were staying with a friend. That no, Daisuke wasn't around and you weren't sure if he would be back again._

_She didn’t ask about the rumors that Daisuke had abused you._

_You never told her why you were in the hospital._

_Jun had called, but you had ignored her calls._

_You got a voicemail, just yesterday, of her demanding to know where her brother was buried. Why hadn’t she been told sooner?_

_You wonder who she had managed to talk to._

_Then you decided it didn’t matter._

_Part of you had hoped that maybe this was a nightmare. An extended nightmare that you would wake up from. But the nightmares that you faced when you went to try and sleep were even worse. Often, you would find Wormmon at your shoulder, asking if you were okay. Those were the moments where you didn't have to lie, where you broke down crying._

_In those two weeks, you don’t know how many times Taichi or Yamato had tried to approach you. They had suggested things that never even stuck in your mind. They suggested getting help. They suggested talking to one of them._

_Yamato had started school to be a therapist._

_You wonder where that information stuck. The week had felt so long, yet so short. You were unaware of the time passing, and hyper aware of how much time you were wasting in bed, caught in the cycle._

_You wondered, briefly, if you could kill yourself. Put an end to the darkness pressing on you. But you had derailed that thought moments after it happened, catching sight of Wormmon laying on your bed. Then he had started to whisper in your ear again, promising you a place at his side if you just returned to him._

_That’s what drove you insane, in such a short time._

"Ken, are you paying attention to me?"

You blink, turning your gaze back up to Vamdemon. He would be angry if you didn't pay attention to him. It was wise to make sure that you always paid attention to him. It would be even worse if you lied to him though.

There was proof in places you didn’t think it was possible to scar.

How wrong you had been, in those first few weeks, to try and fight back.

"I am sorry, I was not." You say, voice hollow. The words hurt coming out, but he would want acknowledgement. And you would pay for it.

"What should I do to you for not listening?" He asks, voice velvet soft and you don't answer. He wouldn't have wanted an answer anyway. The silence lengthens before the digimon finally stands, through his cloak over his shoulder with a snort.

"The digidestined are scurrying around, I have to go soon, but... You will stay here, and think of a way to punish yourself. I will be back." He watches you, leaving a small kiss on your cheek before he’s gone once more, door shutting securely behind him.

You are thrown back into darkness. You scoot, letting your back hit the wall and lean against it gratefully. Normally, he would have stayed much longer but you are glad that he had the distraction.

You wonder if they're looking for you. You wonder if they even knew you were gone. But they had to have known, you had left Wormmon there.

There's an underlying pain that you hadn't thought about in a while.

When Daisuke had perished, Chicomon had returned to being a digi-egg. You remember in those brief two weeks that you had been at their home. Iori and Miyako had come by Taichi's apartment and informed them that they had found Chicomon in Primary village. He was the only Chicomon there, and the others had been glad he was in a safe place.

He was better off, that’s what Miyako had said.

At the time, the words hurt to hear. Some part of you still grieves for what Daisuke had been, unsoiled by the dark taint that was Vamdemon.

Your thoughts wander once more to Wormmon, and you hope that the little digimon didn't think you had rejected him. You hadn't want him to get hurt anymore than he had when you left him behind. And guilt festered and gnawed at you every time you thought of your partner, devolving like V-mon first had with the realisation that you had left him behind.

You didn’t want to bring him back to the darkness. But you hadn’t wanted to leave him either. The voice that spoke to you in your dreams had been clear. You had to come alone, without letting the others know. If you didn’t, there would only be pain for those that tried to follow.

You had been good, in that regard.

You didn’t want Wormmon hurt.

It's several hours until the door opens again and you blink when more light than usual filters in. You see Vamdemon toss someone down in the cell and look up at you, grinning.

"They'll only be here for a few days, so enjoy their company Ken." He murmurs and the door shuts.

You move as far away from the other as you could, hoping that if you remained silent, they would never know you were here. You hear the figure groan, sitting up slowly and holding an arm across their ribs, pain distorting their face. And you stare at the digidestined, wishing it was anyone else.

"Anyone there?" They call, and you press yourself further into the corner you were hiding yourself in. "Damn it," he mutters and you flinch. It's several minutes before Yamato's eyes adjust to the darkness and you see him search the cell more thoroughly, his eyes landing on you in your pitiful pile in the corner.

"Hey, you okay?" He asks and you press your head further between your legs, knees pulled up to hide your face. You don't want to speak, it hurts too much.

"I'm fine," you mumble eventually, words barely audible. Maybe, maybe you could ask him how long it had been since you've been here. Maybe he wouldn't realize who you were.

"Ken?" Yamato's voice holds surprise and you turn to look at him with dull eyes. The sound of his voice makes your head ache. You wish he hadn't been placed here, with you. You wish they had never come back to the digital world once you had run away after those first two weeks.

"Yes?" You whisper, tipping your head ever so slightly.

"Fuck Ken, you look like shit." Yamato says, moving to stand. You see him wince and you hide your face again. Of course you look like shit. There was no other way to wear your hatred of yourself. "Hey, I didn't mean it that way." He adds, moving closer to you. "It's just been a long two years, is all."

"Yes," you say, not sure what you are responding to. "It's been two years?" You ask, surprised.

It’s the first time you’ve asked a question in a long time. You almost expect to get hurt for it.

"Yeah, just about anyway." Yamato says and you want to run away. You can't believe it's been nearly two years since you left. Your heart shudders. "Wormmon is worried about you. We've all been looking for you."

"The door's unlocked," you say finally, pointing towards the cell. Vamdemon had made it a point to show you that the door was always unlocked, you were free to leave whenever you wished. But you had never taken him up on that offer. Running would do you no good.

He would hunt you down and break your legs.

He broke your leg one, just to show you how much pain he could put you in.

"If it's unlocked..." You see Yamato limp towards the door. He shoves it open and you turn your face away from the light. It seems dangerous now, to want to go near it. "Come with me Ken," he says and you meet his gaze. His face has a hard set to it, but you shake your head.

"Can't," you say. It had been so long since you had seen anyone other than Vamdemon. Nearly two years. You want to cling to Yamato, beg him to never leave. But you can't do that to him.

He was free to leave.

You’re free to leave too, but he’d get you back.

"Ken, we're worried about you." Yamato says and you look up at him. You wonder what he had been doing, in the past two years. You knew that the digidestined had returned time and again to face Vamdemon. But you never saw them. You were never allowed out of the hole that you called a home. That cell that was never locked. He had told you that, in the very beginning, that he wouldn't be locking the door.

It was a test, that much you understood.

You wonder if he had meant to lock the door when he left Yamato there but had forgotten. Some habits died hard, so you were often told.

"Can't," you said simply. You were tired, you didn't want to talk anymore than you had today. It hurt to talk. But here you were, still struggling to talk. "Broken,"

"You're not broken," Yamato says and you see him take a step towards you. Your heart leaps in your chest. He couldn't mean that. Of course you were broken. You could see it, when you saw yourself in a mirror on a rare visit outside of the cell. You can't remember the last time you had seen yourself, now that you thought about it.

"Yes," you say without much conviction in your voice. The others would never know what you saw, on a day to day basis. The fact that you hadn't been hurt today meant that Vamdemon was planning something big and you didn't really want to be here when he came back. But you had to be, it was the only thing you were good for now.

The darkness was all you had ever meant to serve.

It would eat away at you.

"Leave with me," Yamato says, standing in front of you and he holds out a hand to you. You stare at the hand blankly before you slowly shake your head.

"Can't," you say again. There was very little keeping you in the cell, but the threat of being maimed would keep you there. Yamato didn't have any such threat hanging over him. He was free to go. "Leave, please." You say after a moment, hoping that your words would reach something that would make Yamato realize that waiting for you to come with would be no good. "Leave me," you try to add.

"I'll come back for you." Yamato promises and then he leaves. You flinch when you hear the cell door slam shut and you are left to your thoughts until Vamdemon comes back, however much longer that might have been.

You lost track of time so long ago.

You only woke, slept, and ate every two sleep cycles.

He's angry when he sweeps in to find that his prize has gone. The prize that he had worked so hard to capture. And he turns his anger on you. He makes you look at him, forces you to stand when all you want to do is stay huddled in the corner. You don't want to move, but if you don't move now, it would be so much worse.

You follow him to a place that you hadn't seen before and he makes sure you don't wander off as he shuts the door to the small room behind him, you in front of him.

"I went so far as to get one of your old friends for you. And you let them get away without so much as a fight. I'm upset with you Ken." He says and he snaps his fingers in front of your eyes, when you realize they had dropped to the floor. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry," you say lifelessly. There was nothing you could say that Vamdemon wouldn't throw back in your face. It was safest to pretend that you were sorry. You're glad that Yamato was not stupid enough to stay behind just to make you come with him.

Or maybe you were afraid.

Had you wanted him to stay?

"Look at me," Vamdemon says and you bring your eyes up to his. You feel his hand on your cheek, keeping your head in place. You couldn't drop it if you wanted to.

"You're eyes.... They are so pretty, I just want to keep them in a jar... You'll let me do that, right Ken? Can I take your eyes?" He whispers and your heart begins to beat faster in fear. You feel the nail of his finger right on the edge of your left eye and you want to pull away. But moving now, it would mean him hurting you with his claws. It would be your fault if he hurt you with his claws.

"I need an answer Ken, and I grow impatient." Vamdemon whispers and you swallow, shoulders shaking. You're crying, but you swallow.

"Of course," you whisper, horrified to hear how hollow you sounded. It scares you, somewhere far enough away that the digimon before you would never be able to reach.

"Thank you," Vamdemon responds and you feel the tear and you hear something squelch as the eye is taken out. You scream in pain, feeling blood drip from the now empty socket. You feel your stomach heave. If you had eaten anything recently, you are sure that it would have been vomited onto Vamdemon without thought.

The pain is overwhelming and you see through the haze that is your good eye, your other eye on Vamdemon’s finger. He looks at it, twisting it between his fingers as if deep in thought.

“It’s so pretty,” he murmurs before he lifts it to his lips and kisses it. You try to look away, try to think through the pain, but you find his other hand is wrapped in your hair. You dry heave at his feet, your hands shaking. The digimon looks between you and his prize, though everything is so blurry now.

He shows you the eye, the violet pupil staring at you and you sob harder. Your good eye is shut against the sight. His fingers move through your hair. A nail touches your eyebrow, before you feel the slow rip of pain, overlapping the pain of your eye being gone. The nail scratches over your empty eye socket, cutting a path down to your cheek.

“My gift, to you.” Vamdemon whispers, kissing your ruined eye and the scratch sure to leave a scar. He pulls away, admiring his handing work and laughing.

The laughing chills you to the bone and you have nothing left in you.

Somewhere, you’re grateful that he did not make you eat your own eye.

He laughs, touching your head with bloody fingers once more before leaving you in that cold room, too small for you to really lay down and stretch out. Too round for you to huddle in a corner. And you raise a shaky hand, touching the socket and tracing the ripped skin above the socket and under. And you sob through your pain.

You wish Yamato was there now, to comfort you. But you had told him to run.

You're glad you told him to run, above all else.

You gratefully sink into the darkness, thoughts circling around Yamato. You wonder, then, what would have happened if he had stayed. Would he have even been in one piece to go back to the others? Would he mention seeing you?

You offer a word that hadn’t come to you in the darkness.

You hope they can rescue you.


End file.
